Audi Q7 6.0 V12 TDI

by David Finlay (18 January 2010)

Let's be sensible about this for a moment. If you want to buy an Audi Q7, you should choose one with the three-litre turbo diesel engine, and that's all there is to it. It's the cheapest, it's by far the most economical, it's no less practical than any of the others and it has much performance as you could reasonably require. In ascending order of silliness, the other options are a 3.6-litre petrol, a 4.2-litre turbo diesel and a 4.2-litre petrol, which is absurd. And then there's the six-litre V12 turbo diesel. Nobody in their right mind would buy this.
It's not the most expensive to run, because the 4.2 petrol is, but it is the most expensive to buy. And not just by a little bit. The next costliest Q7 is more than £40,000 cheaper. No, not four thousand - forty thousand. And it is possible to buy a 3.0 TDI (the only Q7 you really need, as we know) for sixty thousand less. Clearly the 6.0 V12 TDI is a piece of nonsense.
Yet at the same time it is distinctly wonderful. That monster diesel engine, which purrs gently when it's not being called on to do anything special, will, when persuaded to roar, produce maximum power of 493bhp. Its peak torque figure is 737lb/ft, and if you're not familiar with torque measurements let me assure you that this is firmly into "you could have someone's eye out with that" territory. As a result of all this, the 6.0 V12 TDI is the only Q7 which is obliged (under the gentleman's agreement adhered to by most German manufacturers) to have its top speed limited to 155mph, and despite automatic transmission and the fact that it has to heave its great bulk into action at the start of the process it will do the 0-62mph sprint in 5.5 seconds.
What happens if you bury the accelerator pedal into the carpet when the car is actually moving is even more startling. A thing this big and heavy should not gather speed at such a rate. Being on board when this happens is like having a picnic in Guernsey and suddenly finding that the entire island has decided to leap into Dorset.
If it accelerates this quickly, you'd better hope that the Q7 That Didn't Say "When" can stop quickly too. And it can. The brakes are phenomenal, though it doesn't take much experimenting to find a situation in which they need to work as hard as they know how. Best to keep in mind just how large and heavy the Q7 is and leave more room for slowing down than you think you need. Equally, it would be advisable not to take liberties with the handling, though I must say that extraordinary poise through corners is as evident on this Q7 as it is on the less powerful ones.
Unlike other cars in the range, the 6.0 V12 TDI has its own trim level - you don't get standard, SE and S line versions as you do when another engine is fitted. The list of equipment includes 20" alloy wheels, a few unique exterior styling features, adaptive air suspension, satellite navigation, a Bose surround sound system with "dynamic driving noise compensation" and a 6-CD autochanger, leather sports seats in the front, heating for the front and rear seats, a tyre pressure monitoring system, xenon headlights and a parking system which warns you of the presence of nearby objects.
In typical Audi fashion, there are a great many ways of spending much more money on optional extras, several of them costing four-figure sums. It's quite possible to take what is already a startlingly expensive car into what for most of us would be the realms of fantasy, but the extremely small number of UK buyers will no doubt be of such means that this will not cause them a moment's worry.
Although the V12 TDI is almost completely irrelevant, I can't help admiring it. Part of me wants to send Audi to the naughty step for creating it, but another part admires this brilliant execution of a magnificently silly idea.

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