Halloween’s just around the corner and AMC’s The Walking Dead is back on our screens, so we thought it was high time we addressed some of the spookier situations you could face on the road.
Like, for example, what’s the best car to have in a zombie apocalypse? Granted, it’s not the most common situation, but like Louis Pasteur – the chemist who came up with the germ theory of disease – said: “Fortune favours the prepared mind”.
First of all, let’s take a closer look at exactly what you need in a motor that’ll help you survive a run-in with the living dead.
The first thing you’ll need is a car that’s rugged and tough enough to help protect you from the swathes of reanimated corpses. That pretty much rules out most small cars, while supercars will certainly be of no use.
As well as that, off-road capability is preferable, as it’s best to get away from built-up areas where you could be easily overwhelmed by masses of zombies and escape to the open spaces of the countryside. Therefore, some sort of 4x4 SUV seems to be the best choice of car.
That’s not all; you’ll also need a lot of storage space for weapons, equipment and food supplies, plus friends, family and other human allies.
With the downfall of society as we know it, at least you’ll get a break from vehicle tax and insurance. However, it’ll still pay in the long run to get a car with good mileage per gallon as fuel will quickly become scarce.
Finally, speed definitely helps to avoid the undead, but a good anti-zombie vehicle ideally also needs lots of torque. The pulling power provided by an engine with lots of torque will help you wade through zombie crowds if you get surrounded, to pull extra equipment and to help get you to higher ground.
With all that in mind, here’s our roundup of some of the best cars you can have if you wake to find the dead risen from their graves to consume the flesh of the living.
Fiat Panda Cross
Based on the award-winning Fiat Panda 4X4, the Panda Cross aims to combine the off-road capabilities of a full 4x4 with the practicality and chicness of a city car. It might seem a little unlikely, but the Panda Cross is actually quite well equipped for life in an apocalyptic wasteland.
Pros:
Despite looking all cute and cuddly, Fiat’s angry Panda comes with a sturdy metal front bumper and armoured undercarriage that’s perfect for mowing down undead assailants. An elevated driving positon gives good all-round visibility, while cheap running costs will make the most of your fuel supplies.
Cons:
Despite some tough-nut equipment, the Panda is still pretty dinky compared with other 4x4s. A 225-litre boot doesn’t leave much room for equipment and the interior doesn’t have much room. A weak 90bhp engine a limp torque rating of just 145Nm also means the Panda could quickly find itself in severe pandemonium.
Zombie survival rating:
Land Rover Defender
The Land Rover Defender has been employed by the Army since it was released, and has also historically been a firm favourite with the Royal Family as well. This thing has literally survived bombs, so a bunch of walking corpses should be no problem, right?
Pros:
Utilitarian to the core, the Defender has a plastic interior and hose-down floor that means it’s easy to wipe blood and brain matter off after a hard day’s work bashing zombie heads in. A large boot means plenty of room for equipment, while the 2.2-litre engine has enough torque to pull up to 3,500kg.
Cons:
Unfortunately, its rock-solid build leaves little room for comfort. It’s so basic in fact that it doesn’t even come with airbags as standard, but less equipment does mean that less can go wrong. Where this Land Rover really falls is its piddly fuel efficiency; built like a brick house, it comes at the expense of a rubbish 25mpg, which could leave you stranded unless you have backup jerry cans.
Zombie survival rating:
Toyota Hilux
Toyota claims that its Hilux is virtually invincible, with the stalwart pick-up truck even getting an ‘Invincible’ trim option to hammer home that fact. Top Gear fans will know it as the car that conquered the North Pole and an erupting Icelandic volcano, so how does it fare against zombies?
Pros:
Notorious for use as an improvised fighting vehicle by militias, the so-called Toyota War of the 1980s between Libya and Chad was named for the heavy used of the Hilux as a light cavalry vehicle. Tough, with a massive 2,315mm by 1,520mm deck for storing equipment and weapons, it’s also known to exceed 300,000 miles with regular maintenance.
Cons:
Accomplished off-road thanks to four-wheel drive, unfortunately the toughness and durability of the Hilux comes at the cost of driveability. Tight turns to escape navigate zombie hordes will be pretty impossible, given that it “drives like a ski lift”, according to one reviewer.
Zombie survival rating:
Nissan X-TRAIL
Bigger brother to the Qashqai, the Nissan X-TRAIL is larger, leaner and meaner. Unfortunately, the latest X-TRAIL has shed some of its ruggedness for a more family friendly vibe. Does family friendly equal zombie friendly?
Pros:
Constructed of high-strength steel, the X-TRAIL is extremely resilient, while the rear doors open a full 90 degrees to easily load equipment and personnel. It also comes with a wide range of kit that includes a 360-degree camera to spy zombies sniffing around your car, plus a quick and punchy diesel engine with fuel economy of up to 57.7mpg.
Cons:
That said, four-wheel drive doesn’t come as standard, and specifying extra seats drops boot space from 550 litres to 445, meaning you might have to sacrifice some supplies for more people. Still, the X-TRAIL offers a rock-solid mobile base that even the toughest undead will have trouble breaking into.
Zombie survival rating:
