The Nurburgring Nordschleife is hallowed tarmac indeed. If you have the slightest ounce of petrol coursing through your veins, you’ll know all about its 12.9 miles and endless corners. Once the playground of Formula One legends, it was long since deemed far too dangerous for single-seaters which need ultra-smooth tarmac and broad gravel traps.
More recently, the Nordschleife has become infamous thanks to the countless virtual laps undertaken by gamers, lapping up its millimetre-perfect rendition in any driving game worth its salt.
But, for some, the lack of g-forces and the excitement-sapping ability to hit a pause button at any time, will mean they have to take a motoring pilgrimage and face the ‘Green Hell’ for real. Just make sure you take out insurance which covers your trip around the ‘Ring, as it’s the closest thing to hitting ‘reset’ if you do have a bump in real life.
So, as is the tradition of this series, let’s cross off the worst options first. Firstly, don’t be a hero. If you are lucky enough to have access to a fine mid-engined supercar with 400+bhp, it’s the last car you should take your first lap of the Nordschleife in.
Reason one: you’ll be far too worried about denting it. Reason two: everyone will be looking at you, which is added pressure you don’t want. Reason three: some chap called NormWRX92 will upload a video to YouTube showing him overtaking your supercar in his sub-£10k chav chariot. And, last, but most definitely not least, there’s the fact the speed and edgy handling of a supercar would make your first lap more terrifying than thrilling.
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Next on my hit list is the sports SUV. Now, large SUVs with sports suspension, gargantuan tyres and hot-hatch worrying acceleration are undoubtedly great for the trip to and from Germany, but care is needed if lapping the circuit itself. With refinement and power aplenty, you’ll get to the corners very quickly, but then they’ll just keep coming….and coming. And as they do, the tyres and brakes will undergo the equivalent of ten rounds with Mike Tyson. If you’re lucky they will just smoke in the pit lane, before eventually cooling to a safe temperature again. If not, new tyres and brakes will need to be fitted for the trip home.
And last, but not least, avoid the special edition. I’m specifically talking about those which get the bodykit, alloy wheels and exhaust trims of the range-topping sports version, but the wheezy engine of a city shopper. Built to attract younger buyers looking for ‘the lifestyle’ without the big insurance and tax bills, they certainly have their place, but that place isn’t the steep climb between Bergwerk and Karussell. Vans will expose your dirty little secret here.
Mazda MX-5
Instead, what you need is a Mazda MX-5. Alright, so petrol heads who don’t put on their driving shoes for less than 300bhp may think I’m mad, but hear me out. Your first lap should be all about learning the track and having fun, so what better car to do that in than a rear-wheel drive sports car which feels exciting at any speed above 50mph?
The MX-5 is small and incredibly agile, which is the perfect recipe for learning your cornering lines, but it sounds good and has just enough power to feel exciting, so you will find your pulse nicely elevated. Because the MX-5 is so lightweight (less than a Fiesta), it also shouldn’t excessively wear its tyres and brakes or use too much fuel, so you’ll be able to keep lapping and drive home afterwards.
Read the full Mazda MX-5 review
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The runners up:
Ford Fiesta ST
Ford Fiesta STThe Fiesta ST shares many traitswith the MX-5, but trades a rear-wheel drive chassis for terrier-like front-wheel drive and a touch more power and outright speed. Incredible fun to drive, the ST has a faithful chassis that’s unlikely to catch you out, particularly if you leave the ESP switched on.
Read the full Ford Fiesta ST review
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Subaru BRZ
With almost identical performance to the MX-5, the BRZ swaps a fabric soft-top for a roof and has a stiffer chassis with less body roll. While ultimately this can make the BRZ a bit less exciting than the MX-5, its extra precision can make it feel more grown-up on track.
Read the full Subaru BRZ review
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Renaultsport Megane 275
The Megane 275 is verging on being too powerful for a first ever lap of the ‘Ring, but its sublime chassis means it never feels too fast for its own good. A flexible turbocharged engine means you’ll be rocketing out of corners, but brilliant brakes and grip means you should only fall off the track if you seriously overestimate your driving skills.
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